T H E   L  E  F  T  -  W  I  N  G    N  O  I  S  E    M  A  C  H  I  N  E

  • Nerve Center
  • The News Cyclotron
  • "Megadittoes" Is Out!
  • Conservative Quantum Weirdness
    • More Conservative Weirdness
  • Conservative Meme Du Jour
  • Tea Party Occupied America
    • God And Guns
    • Those Crazy Koch Brothers
  • Weekly Flying Monkey Award
  • About us, more or less

GOP OFFERS FREE CONTINENTAL BREAKFAST FOR GAY SEX

08/12/2011

1 Comment

 
Picture
VOTE FOR MY MARRIAGE RING
Predictably, another family values Republican has been caught naked in a hotel room with a young man, offering him cash (and a free continental breakfast) for sex.  Indiana State Rep. Philip Hinkle, who voted for a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage, also voted with his hotel keys and arranged a liaison with 18-year-old Kameryn Gibson, who advertized on Craigslist for a “sugga daddy.”  A lot of bizarre behavior has been issuing from Tea Party Occupied Indiana recently (see this article), but this one is extraorinarily replete with conservative quantum weirdness.

Hinkle ― whose voting record includes not only the anti-gay constitutional amendment but typical Tea Party themes orbiting around pro-gun, anti-union, and anti-tax obsessions ― offered Gibson $80 (plus potential tips for a “good time”) to meet him at a Marriot Hotel.  Helpfully, Hinkle memorialized the negotiations in excruciating detail in his emails, including the aforementioned offer of a free continental breakfast. (Note to hypocritical homophobic conservatives ― don’t use emails to hook up with young men).  At this point, to paraphrase Churchill, it was clear what sort of person Hinkle is, the parties were now merely haggling over the price.

Gibson met Hinkle, but got cold feet when the 64-year-old lawmaker plopped down on the bed naked and informed the teen he was a government official.  No doubt sensing he was getting involved in a scandal that might leave him with a bullet in the back of his skull, or at least a cover shot on The National Inquirer, Gibson tried to leave, but Hinkle became an octopus and grabbed his posterior. 

Hijinx followed as Gibson’s sister arrived, leading to Hinkle desperately offering to give the object of his affection cash and electronic equipment to to forget the whole thing.  When Gibson went public, Hinkle followed the conservative Republican reaction like clockwork and alleged a “shakedown,” suggesting some political or criminal plot lured him to the Marriot.  Then Hinkle’s (apparently longsuffering) wife allegedly offered Gibson $10,000 in hush money.  Piling on to the absurdity, Hinkle’s verbally lax attorney, Peter Nugent stupidly said he was “trying to get to the bottom of everything involved."  

All the wonderfully sordid details are here.

The pitiful incident wouldn’t interest normal people in the slightest, except for the fact that Hinkle, like all conservatives, politicized his family life by blaming gays (and liberalism) for the alleged deterioration of marriage in society, and engaging in expressions of legislative homophobia, making his bumbling foray into gay quasi-prostitution repulsively hypocritical.  You don’t have to be Dr. Freud to understand the psychology of homophobia as expressed in conservative Republican circles.  You just have to listen to Michele Bachmann’s husband and his ministry to convert gays to “normal” sexuality to see what’s going on. 

The politics of homophobia is not just scandal fodder, but an important issue, as gaybashing has become central to the GOP.  Needing someone to blame for their own sense of economic and cultural insecurity, the Tea Party hobbits have crafted a discourse of scapegoating, whether it's immigrants, feminists, "cultural marxists," or gays.  As the Left-Wing Noise Machine is fond of saying, conservatism is less a political philosophy than a sexual dysfunction.  Isn’t it time that homophobic conservative males embrace their inner gayness and stop this gun-toting, mock-macho family-values drum beating that so transparently veils their own self-hatred?  That or at least shut up and stop attacking sexual minorities, of which they are unsuccessfully pretending not to belong.


 


Comments

Desideratum X
08/17/2011 7:44pm

Why am I not surprised?

Reply



Leave a Reply

    Head Of Joaquin

    Picture
    The Head of Joaquin was kept in a pickled-egg jar in a bar in Kanab, Utah for many years, until the LNM smuggled him out to our safe, undisclosed location, where he writes our "conservative quantum weirdness" report, appropriately enough.

    Archives

    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    January 2011

    Categories

    All
    Abortion
    Alabama
    Andrew Breitbart
    Ann Coulter
    Bad Music
    Barack Obama
    Breastfeeding
    Bruce Lee
    Buckshotgate
    Carrot Top
    Charles Bronson
    Christian Dominionism
    Chuck Norris
    Condeleeza Rice
    Conservative Principles Conference 2011
    Cpac
    Dick Cheney
    Evolution
    Family Values
    Fox News
    George Bush
    Herman Cain
    Hypocrisy
    Illegal Immigrants
    Infamous Iowa Corndog
    Jack Cashill
    Jay Leno
    Kameryn Gibson
    Kansas
    Koch Brothers
    Libertarian Toilets
    Libertarianism
    Michael Huckabee
    Michele Bachmann
    Mr. Magoo
    Newt Gingrich
    Osama Bin Laden
    Paul Lepage
    Philip Hinkle
    Radiation
    Rand Paul
    Raquel Welch
    Rick Perry
    Rick Santorum
    Ron Paul
    Rupert Murdoch
    Rush Limbaugh
    Sarah Palin
    Scott Walker
    Sean Hannity
    Steve King
    Tax Havens
    Tim Pawlenty
    Tom Delay
    Tonight Show
    Union Busting
    Virgil Peck
    Weapons
    Wendi Deng Murdoch
    Wordnetdaily

    RSS Feed